WebFunny, silly and random confessions about youself and your life, for funny status updates and tweets. What is it son? "I'm telling everybody", Three men end up at the pearly gates at the same time. Fund your creativity by creating subscription tiers. Sex is really cheap entertainment. PO BOX 2350 BERALA NSW 2141 AUSTRALIA Fair Use: For educational purposes and criticism. The priest asks' 'Was it Angela Brown?'. "Honey, I have a confession to make," a guy told his bride. As an Amazon Associate we may earn from qualifying purchases. "I'm telling everyone!". St. Peter forgives him, and gives him a motorcycle. A Quiz To Test How Well You & Your Partner Really Know Each We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I've never felt better. Father Saunders came to me and told me I had the gates to Heaven between my legs. PRIEST: Wow I gotta hear this. "Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?" Finally, on their wedding night, in bed with the lights out, he screws up his courage. Whats the most disgusting thing youve ever done? "During WWII I had someone in hiding in my attic." He tells him that he must travel for a thousand miles as penance, and think about his sin. The pastor smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says He calls the chairman to tell him that he can call off the search. The man replies, "But how can I? Categories . Before the race starts, he brunette turns to the blonde and says "I'll bet you fifty dollars the black horse wins." The Priest says "I see. Similar to the previous article, all of these confessions come from Reddits r/confessions thread. I've done a lot of evolving, artistically, lately, and tooo much of my stuff just kinda looks like no good. St. Peter remarks that he was behind schedule and needed each to explain how they died. ME: I was angry and envious at my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and I didn't share. Because of sex. She was 18, chubby, and samoan so she I don't want to ruin her reputation'. 5. Many of the my confession cross puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. "I know," she replied. "Please, Father! The man says, Father, forgive me, it's a long time since my last confession. Your email address will not be published. Anonymous Im pretty young 19 as of writing this and still dont know anything about anything. 6. Courtesy of my Dad! Please please please take a look at it and maybe share it with other Etsy friends! Funny Confessions funny sins, secrets and stories | Page 4 Once in heaven the man asks God, "What was up with that? "Of course you can." local policies and laws. God bless my mom for going along with that. He enters the confession, sits down and says "Forgive me Father for I have sinned, and I want to confess". Questions You Never Thought To Now you go and behave yourself." It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? It's hard to work on yourself when there's no one around to see it. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Pinterest * I felt something on my left and right and noticed two female friends from yesterday asleep and fully clothed on either side of me. Scene 1: Amplification of my brothers sins. You'll never see me on weekends during golf season. " Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? The priest says "What have you done, my son?" 'My lips are sealed.' 2. I assume I was drugged because I didnt have any hangover. What's the No. With twins. Funny Relatable Memes. *Michael*, Father, forgive I think its been a while since I've been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be. Would they ever be open to a long-distance relationship? Reddit users were asked What is the worst thing youve ever done out of laziness?. --- "I'm into restraints and bondage. Whats the most surprising thing thats ever turned you on? The second guy says, "I was just walking down the street, minding my own business when a refrigerator fell on me. The man soon enough passes the other two men, who see him land a short distance away. Be patient, my son, I shall return to you in a week's time." 7. r/legaladvice (opens in a new tab). But then the Father opens the door and yells "Get out! God replies,"What are you talking about? (I swear I'm normal now).". Me: "It's been". I feel so guilty." Reporting on what you care about. Do you use your Whats the most disturbing fantasy or dream youve ever had? When not on his computer he enjoys traveling, eating pizza, and watching 80s action films. Can we get this video to 5K LIKES?! I'm a veterinarian.". *P.S. A free doctor approved gut health guide featuring shopping lists, recipes, and tips. We suggest you to use only working my confession couple piadas for adults and blagues for friends. There's a lull in the conversation, and nobody knows quite what to say. Real gentlemen know quality when they see it. Priest: "Because my hand is getting tired. to live in a cheap house in like Los Angeles or Miami and have an just have an expensive jdm car (20k) And just work at job whatever and just drive to car meets and race every night that is my dream. u/Intelligent-Wind-957, See more about - Funny Confessions From Reddit You Wont Believe. By the way is this your first confession?" The priest says, "You're not the first doctor to sleep with a patient and you won't be last." I love you! Now you go and behave yourself.' There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby. Ask each other questions, have genuine curiosity for each other, and just enjoy the process of getting to know each other. 37. "I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you Now close your eyes.". The blonde says "OK, you're on!" How often do we really pause and ask our partners those deep, important questions? Too lazy to do the washing. WebConfession Jokes. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?" The priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to just sit there. The man replied , Well in that case should I tell them that the war is over ? "Do you think that I should tell him that the war is over? "Oh good" she replies, "I much prefer being a Christine anyways.". Over 1 MILLION CONFESSIONS and growing.The World is waiting By submitting the form, you acknowledged that you are or over 18 years old and you will follow ^^ Social Media Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kyutiee_/ Twitter https://twitter.com/KyutieOfficial Snapchat https://www.snapchat.com/add/kyuutie Facebook https://www.facebook.com/KyutieOfficial SEND ME STUFF! The minister thinks for a minute, smiles, puts a fatherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says, "You should hurry home now. ", "If I met anyone, and I mean ANYONE, I would immediately ask them, 'Do you like salad? I was scared my parents would find the bag, so I was trying to figure out how and where to get rid of it. US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. ', and he says, "God, I see that all of the other animals that you have created in this truly perfect world have a companion, a partner, someone to be with, share life with, and to love. 30 to 40 correct: You know plenty about your partner, but there's still more to find out as your connection deepens.